Monday Update: Jimmy Fallon Named In SNL Costar’s Sexual Assault Of A Minor Lawsuit, NFL’s Jay Cutler Dropped From UberEats Campaign Over School Mask Views, Larry David Relieved To Have Been Uninvited To Obama’s Birthday Bash

We’re tracking the conservative culture clash with woke Hollywood hypocrites to keep you up to date on who’s winning and who we hate. 

 Here’s what happened today:

Dropped

Former Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler was fired from an UberEats promotional campaign over his stance against school mask mandates.  

Cutler supported the anti-mask protests of parents at his local school district in a Twitter post last week. “Let’s be clear. No one wants to go to a school board meeting. So this speaks volumes,” he commented on a packed protest. Two days later he announced that he would be campaigning for the Williams County, TN school board in 2024.  

“Lost a commercial with Uber eats partnering with the NFL.  Was going to film in LA, ‘views aren’t aligned,’” he tweeted on Friday. “Guess they don’t like future School board members.  Frees up my weekend.” 

In a parting jab, he remarked that he tends “to cook at home anyway.” 

Let’s be clear. No one wants to go to a school board meeting. So this speaks volumes. https://t.co/MzeLKhdWor

— Jay Cutler (@JayHasTweets) August 11, 2021

Lawsuit

“The Tonight Show” host Jimmy Fallon was named in a lawsuit against former “Saturday Night Live” co-star Horatio Sanz, who is accused of grooming and sexually assaulting a teenager over a period of several years.

The alleged victim, then 17, claimed that Sanz fondled her in the VIP area of “SNL” after-party in 2001, while she drank beer with Fallon and other celebrities who witnessed the behavior.  

One shocked attendee asked Sanz “Are you f—ing serious?” – but did not try to stop the comedian from “kissing her, groping her breasts, groping her buttocks, and digitally penetrating her genitals forcibly and without [her] consent.”

She is seeking unspecified damages in the suit.  

Earthquake

Tennis star Naomi Osaka, who is currently the number two ranked women’s tennis player in the world, pledged to donate all her winnings from the Western and Southern Open to the victims of the 7.2 magnitude earthquake that claimed the lives of more than 1,200 Haitians on Saturday. 

“Really hurts to see all the devastation that’s going on in Haiti, and I feel like we really can’t catch a break,” she tweeted Saturday. “I’m about to play a tournament this week and I’ll give all the prize money to relief efforts for Haiti. I know our ancestors blood is strong we’ll keep rising,” the tennis star said.

The four-time Grand Slam champion, who is paternally half-Hatian, has the potential to win between $100,000 to $255,000 depending on how she finishes at the tournament.  

Apologies

Grammy-winning singer Erykah Badu apologized to the Obama’s after posting photos and videos of the former first couple dancing maskless and failing to socially distance at the 44th commander-in-chief heavily criticized 60th birthday extravaganza in Martha’s Vineyard.

“Mr. And Mrs. Obama,” she tweeted. “Please forgive me 4 being the “terrible guest “ at such a sacred event for your family. I was so inconsiderate, Thank you for all your love. What an example of ‘how NOT ‘ to be.” 

Badu said she deleted the posts because it was “just the right thing [to do].”

Uninvited

Comedian Larry David was reportedly relieved to be uninvited from Obama’s star-studded birthday bonanza after the original guest list of 500 was pared down to 200, due public outcry over the bash turning into a super-spreader soiree.

David feared he would be asked to perform a comedy routine at for guests including Beyonce, Jay-Z, Tom Hanks, George Clooney, and John Legend amongst others, but didn’t have enough time to prepare material.  

“I was pretty glum when I finally called back his assistant,” David remarked about RSVPing to the event, but his mood soon turned to elation.

“When he told me I was eighty-sixed from the party, I was so relieved I screamed, ‘Thank you! Thank you!’ He must have thought I was insane,” he continued. “Then I hung up the phone, poured myself a drink, and finished my crossword puzzle.”

Chest-Feeding

Former “Cheers” star Kristie Alley believes that the “inclusive” term “chest-feeding” is degrading to women.

“BREAST-FEEDING IS what WOMEN do. Women also bottle feed. Men bottle feed too,” Alley tweeted. “We do not have to buckle to the insanity of the minuscule minority of lunatics who make us feel guilty for not sharing their insanity. ‘Chest feeding?’ ‘human milk feeding?’ WTF STOP IT!!!”

The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine updated “lactation-related language” like “human milk feeding,” because “not all people who give birth and lactate identify as female.”

“I’m a little tired of the degrading and nullifying of women and their abilities,” she went on. “Breastfeeding is one of our abilities. It’s a beautiful and important ability. Knock off the nullifying of women [for] the sake of lunatics. Equal rights does not equal insanity.” 

“It’s our personal responsibility to agree or disagree with concepts. My only point here today is don’t let insanity force you to pretend like you agree with the insanity,” she concluded in another post. It’s part of the insanity to shame you into agreement.”

Marie Finn