The story behind Thanksgiving is a “heartwarming” one, Kimmel said during an episode of his ABC show earlier this week, “but this is not 1621, it’s 2016, and some of the story is out of date.”
“So we thought it might be a good idea to update the story of Thanksgiving to reflect our modern sensitivities,” he explained.
With his introduction complete, Kimmel turned it over to the children, to the loud applause of the studio audience.
“Please don’t applaud!” one of the elementary schoolers admonished the audience. “It’s insensitive to people with no arms!”
“The place: Plymouth, Massachusetts. The year: 1621… if you choose to believe in the culturally oppressive Greco-Roman calendar,” the girl continued.