Tuesday Update: Bill Gates Marriage Implodes, Dairy Offers Aaron Rodgers More Cheddar, and Will Smith Packs On The COVID 19

Wikimedia Commons, By Brandonrush - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=22887625

Billionaire Break-up

Bill Gates’ wife Melinda filed for divorce from the world’s fourth-richest man and court documents revealed that the couple never signed a prenup. The mother of three called her 27-year marriage to the Microsoft founder “irretrievably broken” in the divorce petition. The couple has $130 billion in combined assets to split, including a $125 million Seattle compound, a $59 million Florida ranch, and 268,000 acres of land in 19 states.  

 

Green Bay Cheddar

Quarterback Aaron Rodgers doesn’t want to play for the Packers if GM Brian Gutekunst is still running the show, but a Wisconsin Diary isn’t willing to let go of their star player without putting up some cheddar. The Burnett Dairy Cooperative believes “a little cheese can make any situation better,” and is offering free cheese to Rodgers if he plays for their home team this season, an offer that extends to a lifetime supply of free dairy byproduct if he retires as a Packer.  

 

Disney Drama

Recently reopened Disneyland is under fire by woke liberals after unveiling “Snow White’s Enchanted Wish” ride, which features Prince Charming awakening Snow White with “true love’s kiss.” According to a leftist media review, the “kiss he gives to her without her consent, while she’s asleep, which cannot possibly be true love if only one person knows it’s happening.”

 

VIP DMV

Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow used her celebrity to skip a 50-person line at a Santa Monica DMV when staff snuck her in through the back door on Monday and processed her through in less than a half-hour.   

 

Scandalous Selfie

Hillsong megachurch released a statement about their latest scandal after the married creative director of the New Jersey branch resigned last week in the wake of texting revealing selfies to a church volunteer. “We were disappointed to learn about choices he made that were unacceptable for any Hillsong staff member,” the statement said. “We also take seriously our responsibility to ensure that our staff is equally committed to creating a safe and Christ-centered environment where all people feel welcome.”

 

The COVID-19

Superstar Will Smith has been packing on the pounds during the pandemic, just like the rest of the nation. On Monday he proved that not even Hollywood A-listers are immune from putting on the COVID 19 in an Instagram post that read: “I’m gonna be real wit yall – I’m in the worst shape of my life.”

 

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Dan
Dan
8 days ago

Wonderful. Just forking Wonderful.

Vester Hasson
Vester Hasson
8 days ago

Sorry their family is breaking up but who really cares any more than any other family. Not me!

Ursus Logicus
Ursus Logicus
8 days ago

Liberalism is, among much else, a GUARANTEE of relationship dissolution. B [email protected] deserves to lose 65 billion bucks as much as any other dimwitted Liberal tech thief. And this matter actually screws two for the price of one. Delightful.

PatrioTEA
PatrioTEA
8 days ago

Melinda just hit the jackpot. Bill will drop to something like 25th while Melinda may be about 12th. The government could be a prime recipient, though the $ should go back to the ripped off customers.