Thursday Update: Chris Pratt Is The Ultimate Patriot On Flag Day, Marvel Won’t ‘Make America Great Again,’ Soccer Superstar’s Snub Cost Coca-Cola $4BN

We’re tracking the conservative culture clash with woke Hollywood hypocrites to keep you up to date on who’s winning and who we hate. 

Here’s what happened today:

Patriotically Parachuting 

“Guardians of the Galaxy” star Chris Pratt celebrated Flag Day by leaping out of a plane with Navy Seals and a giant American flag.

“I love our flag,” he posted. “The Stars and Stripes represent all of us. Every American regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation or political leaning is protected and free to be themselves in this great country.”

“This banner is yours,” Pratt continued. “You are free to say whatever kind of crazy ass shit you want in this country. And the crazy ass shit I want to say is this: ‘I pledge allegiance to the flag of the USA. And to the republic for which it stands. One nation, UNDER GOD, #Indivisible, with Liberty and justice for all.’” 

Fire Gone Wild

The Mexican estate of Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis went up in flames Tuesday night when 20 guests were renting the property.  The main house, which featured twelve bedrooms and thirteen bathrooms was reduced to ash and rubble. No one was killed in the fire.

The luxe villa located two hours away from Los Angeles in Punta de Mita, Mexico, was a favored destination of celebrities including Jennifer Aniston, Demi Moore, Eva Longoria, and the Kardashian clan. The resort rented out for $35,000 a night.  

Making Marvel Great

“Falcon and the Winter Soldier” star Anthony Mackie wanted to include Trump’s campaign tagline into the final episode of the series, but Marvel nixed the idea.

“With all of the protests and everything that went on in 2020, there were just as many brown people as black people as white people, as Asian people. Everyone, everyone in this country at this time wants to see a change, and that monologue sums that up a beautiful way,” Mackie remarked.

Mackie’s character takes up the mantle of Captain America after Steve Rogers retires in the new series. “One thing I wanted to put at the end of the monologue — and it got shot down — was if we’re going to ‘make America great again,’ it has to be done by Americans,” he lamented. “And no matter what your race, creed, color, or sexuality is, you’re an American. And that’s what I think the new Captain America captures.”

Costly Coke

Soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo displayed his disgust for “woke” beverage maker Coca-Cola at a press conference prior to Portugal’s UEFA Euro 2020 game with Hungary, and it cost the company big time. 

In the video, he can be seen smearing at the two bottles on the table in front of him, before removing them. He then holds up a bottle of water and says “agua,” as he appears to mutter something under his breath about the brand.

After Ronaldo’s comment, Coca-Cola’s share price dropped 1.6% to $55.22, and the drink giant’s market value dropped an astounding $4 billion, from $242bn to $238bn. 

Total Jackass

A judge granted “Jackass” director Jeff Tremaine a permanent restraining order that will require the franchise’s former star, Bam Margera, to stay a minimum of 100 yards away from Tremaine and his family for three years.  

Not only did Margera publicly threaten Tremaine, but he also sent private threats to his children according to court documents. The former professional skateboarder claimed he was fired from the series fourth installment when he refused to enter substance abuse rehabilitation.

Laughing At Millionaires 

The internet turned on comedian Kevin Hart for criticizing cancel culture, and he took to Twitter to let them know the joke is on them. 

“The ‘He’s not funny’ slander is the best…this is for you,” he wrote. “I have 3 stand up comedy specials that fall in the top 10 highest grossing comedy specials of all time…2 of my specials are in the top 3 of all time.”

“I have been the highest grossing comedian in entertainment for years now,” Hart continued. “I have also been the highest grossing comedian in the box office with over 4 billion in earnings. The hate/slander fuels me to do more. If ur laughing at a millionaire the jokes on YOU.”

Marie Finn