Tis the season to… Commit stupid crimes. When criminals get into the spirit of the season, they make some questionable choices, from trying to break in down the chimney to squirrel stabbings, these dumb criminals ended up in handcuffs for the New Year.
Broken Heart
Two men devised a plan to lift goods from a Walmart by one of the guys distracting the security guard by faking a heart attack, while the other walked out with a cart of Barbie toys. The ploy actually worked and the man feigning ill got up after his accomplice escaped, but it was all caught on camera and they were both charged with grand theft.
Christmas Float Car Chase
At a South Carolina Christmas parade in 2006, one of the float drivers broke formation and sped off down the street with passengers still on top of the float, including the driver’s son. Passenger’s called 911 and police chased the float for three miles before the driver pulled over. He was charged with a DUI and 18 counts of kidnapping.
Squirrel Stabbing
When a South Carolina man failed to return home with beer for his wife on Christmas Eve, she stabbed him in the shoulder and chest with a ceramic squirrel tchotchke. She was charged with domestic violence.
Charged in stabbing. Ceramic squirrel used as weapon. Upset over lack of beer. pic.twitter.com/9189unWPn2
— ///Grenzfurthner\ (@johannes_mono) December 28, 2013
Santa Claus Bandit
In 1988 a federal prisoner escaped from custody and went on a bank robbing spree in Southern California. He was dubbed the “Santa Clause Bandit,” because he wore a long gray beard and white hair that gave him the appearance of jolly old Saint Nick.
Santa Claus Turned Robber !!! https://t.co/KZlDGU2KIF pic.twitter.com/0sNV7Ar3Os
— Farmpartner.ng (@farmpartner) December 27, 2016
Santa Claus Burglar
Another criminal was named “The Santa Claus Burglar” for trying to break into a Seattle home through the chimney. Lacking Santa’s finesse, the man got stuck and had to be rescued by firefighters. He was sentenced to 17 months in prison.
Man who got stuck in Seattle chimney convicted of burglary: A man police dubbed the "Santa Claus burglar" af… http://tinyurl.com/3xmwcxd
— Beltway Confidential (@BeltwayConfid) July 21, 2010
Intruding Interior Decorator
An 11-year-old boy came upon a home intruder, who instead of stealing anything, was putting up Christmas decorations. The man was high on bath salts, but fortunately not aggressive, because when he saw the boy, he apologized for scaring him and offered to leave.
Bad Santa
A Massachusetts mall Santa was banned from his workplace after he made sexual comments to and groped his 18-year-old coworker who was dressed as an elf. The man claimed he was innocent, but he was barred from ever dressing as Santa again. The elf quit her job.
Mall Santa in Massachusetts denies groping elf. http://t.co/DVRoNoOqjT pic.twitter.com/yE9d7dIe6h
— NBC Los Angeles (@NBCLA) November 27, 2013
High Santa
A Monterey man claiming to be Santa Claus was arrested after he went into a Buffalo Wild Wings with a duffle bag packed full of marijuana and handed out large hunks of pot wrapped in napkins to the patrons.
What do Kevin McAllister and mini have in common?
They both caught "Santa" smoking in the parking lot at night one year ?????? pic.twitter.com/vzJYUdBwCi
— Kitt (@UncertainTiming) December 20, 2020
Santa’s Not Real
A Texas man was arrested outside of a “breakfast with Santa” church event for telling children Father Christmas wasn’t real. He was arrested for criminal trespassing and scolded by the town’s mayor.
Texas man arrested for telling children Santa Claus isn't real https://t.co/NgVZHv1QZ4
— TheBlaze (@theblaze) December 9, 2018
Waffle Brawl
Early Christmas morning, a drunken group of patrons got into a brawl at a North Carolina Waffle House and completely trashed the restaurant.
