The Woke Internet Wants To Cancel These Christmas Classics

By Rachmaninoff - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0,

Woke Twitter always needs something to be outraged over and this holiday season their liberal ire took aim at the fan-favorite festive films we all know and love.

These are the Christmas movies the internet wants canceled and roasted over an open fire.

1946’s “It’s a Wonderful Life” features Jimmy Stewart as suicidal loan banker George Bailey, who considers ending it all on Christmas Eve, but finds out how his life has impacted the people of Bedford Falls and decides live to see the New Year.

“I see @NBC is playing ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ right now. It’s in B&W. Is that why I see no people of color?” one viewer tweeted in complaint.

2003’s “Elf” is on the naughty list because Will Ferrell’s naive Buddy, the human raised as an Elf in the North Pole, has “no regard for his adopted dad’s feelings” when he leaves to find his biological family in New York.

He also busts in on Zoey Deschanel while she’s in the shower, which is “categorically a NOT OK thing to do.”

Liberal snowflakes want to melt 1969’s “Frosty the Snowman” because the main character is a male, thus the flick “fails to be gender inclusive.”

The woke student’s at the University of Pittsburgh think Frosty doesn’t open up the option “for other gender expressions” and “can definitely exclude people.”

Tim Allen’s “The Santa Clause” triggers weak wokesters when his character, Scott Calvin, is alarmed by all the pounds he packs while transforming into Santa Claus.

When Scott takes up the mantle after accidentally killing Santa, a little girl asks him why his clothes are so baggy. “Because Santa is watching his saturated fats,” he replies.

As he gets a check-up from his doctor, Scott is alarmed by his increased girth. “A little weight? Does this look like a little weight to you?!” He asks hysterically.

“Well s–t, I forgot about all the super fatphobic s-it in The Santa Clause Disney movie. Dammit,” one viewer commented.

“Love Actually” haters think Andrew Lincoln’s lovelorn photographer, who wants his best friend’s wife, played by Keira Knightly, is a “creepy pr–k,” for obsessively zooming in on her while filming their wedding video.

“Why does nobody ever talk about the stalker video that Mark makes at the wedding. That s–t ain’t romantic or cute it’s creepy as hell and if that was done now he’d be outed all over the internet like the weirdo stalker that he is,” one person complained.

Instead of trying to cancel christmas movies, liberal whiners should jump on the McClane train and watch Bruce Willis blow away bad guys trying to steal bearer bonds in New York City on Christmas Eve, in what is definitively the best holiday film ever produced.

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1 year ago

woke is destroying itself by its own imbecility.